Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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