I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
