How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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