she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i think i have herpe
just one?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
