Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
