my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
