I heard we made out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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