That's intense
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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