oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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