my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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