quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
worst night to have a conscience
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
