wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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