Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
