So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
