Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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