It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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