Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
