The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
