Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize