i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Randomize
