Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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