I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
