marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
