Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize