Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
