i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
