i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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