She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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