why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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