We're like a lot better than the average bears
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize