she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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