You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
