in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
