Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
