Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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