this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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