That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
