Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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