I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
