I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
