Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
worst night to have a conscience
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
