So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
