I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dicks are not precious.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
