Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm like, not good at living.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize