"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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