So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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