There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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