i jhust puked up my retainher.
I smell stomach acid.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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