im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize