does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
