I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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