Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
