Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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