Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
