I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize