May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
