Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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