she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
