Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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