I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
