Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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