My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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