Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This house was built for laser tag.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
