Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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