As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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